Polls Close Early As Reward For Everyone’s Hard Work

The Onion ·
Politics Elections United States

WASHINGTON—Congratulating the American populace on a job well done, election officials announced Tuesday that polls for the 2026 midterms would be closing early as a reward for everyone’s hard work. “You all pounded the pavement and made your voices heard, so as a special thank-you for doing your civic duty, we’re shutting down right now,” […] The post Polls Close Early As Reward For Everyone’s…

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